WOW – Long time no post! With all that was going on in my life over the last couple of months, I just didn’t have the time or energy to write our 10 month update. While things are still very stressful as I continue to deal with a lot of BS on a regular basis, I need to write about my sweet boy because he is growing and changing so quickly, and I don’t want to let that be overshadowed. I decided this month I would combine his 10 & 11 month updates into one. Here we go!
I finally took Kyler to his well check when he was almost 10 months old. He weighed 18 lbs. 12 oz. and was 29 inches tall. Since then I know he’s gotten bigger because he’s sized up in clothing, and just feels so heavy!
His body isn’t the only thing that’s growing… so is his hair! I swear, his hair is going through a growth spurt of its own and is getting a bit out of control. We plan to take him for his first haircut soon!
Kyler’s sleep was a little rough over the last couple of months. He went from going down around 7:00 and sleeping until 4:00ish, to fighting me when I put him down, and waking up every couple of hours like when he was much younger. It was pretty exhausting. I think his disrupted sleep was partially caused by a big Wonder Week, and also because he got FOUR new teeth this month! He actually got all top 4 teeth in the span of one week… ouch! So weird to see my baby with a mouth full of teeth!
Another thing that made sleep and really anything difficult was that he continues to be very attached to me. I am pretty sure Kevin went through a separation anxiety stage around this age too. He constantly wants to be near me or be held by me. It’s really sweet so I try my best to enjoy it, because I know it doesn’t last forever (especially since I now have a 3.5 year old who couldn’t care less about being away from me!).
Nursing is still going well. On a regular day he eats 5 times (unless he wakes up a lot at night for some reason, I usually nurse him back to sleep because that’s all he wants). He eats around 4:00 AM, 8:00 AM, 12:00 PM, 4:00 PM, and before bed around 7:00 PM. During the week at daycare, he has bottles at 8:00, 12:00 and 4:00. He still takes 4 ounces in each bottle, like he has for the last 8 months or so. I’m also still pumping three times a day at work. However, my supply has gone down some due to reasons I’ll explain later. I’ve started giving him a bottle of pumped milk in addition to nursing him before bed, since my supply seems to be the lowest at night. Since I started doing this he’s been sleeping longer at night too, so I think his disrupted sleep was due to needing more milk as well.In addition to nursing, this kid can EAT. He now eats three meals a day, and we’ve given him pretty much everything except peanut butter at this point. He has liked almost all food he has tried, and when he doesn’t like something he makes it known by throwing it on the floor immediately. He loves cheerios, bananas, applesauce, waffles, peas, broccoli, green beans, corn, chickpeas, yogurt, and pasta. Lately he hasn’t been a huge fan of eggs and black beans. He LOVES feeding himself and using his signs to ask for more, or to tell us he’s all done. Kyler’s development cognitively, socially and physically has really exploded over the past two months. He is definitely developing his own personality, and is interacting with all of us which is so much fun. He is super silly, smiles and giggles constantly, loves to make us laugh and loves playing games like peek-a-boo and chase. He also does a mean “lizard tongue.”
This month he started saying three words pretty consistently: mama, dada and bye bye. He loves to say bye and wave. Our daycare provider told me that he does it whenever a parent comes to pick up a kid too. So sweet!
He’s also learned how to respond to “How big is Kyler? SO BIG!” By spreading his arms way out. It’s so cute!
Physically we had two big milestones during month 10 and 11. First, Kyler went from scooting backwards to full blown crawling on his hands and knees. Not only that, but he is FAST! He can get up stairs now too, so we have to make sure to lock him in baby jail with the baby gate now!
He also has started to pull himself up on anything and everything. He LOVES to stand. He occasionally will let go of whatever he’s holding on to, which makes me a little nervous! He is also starting to cruise a little bit along furniture and things like that. Kevin didn’t walk until he was 14 months old, so I am curious when Kyler will!
Right now, his favorite toys are his activity table, the magnets that are on our fridge and dishwasher, his rattles and rings, and anything he can take out of his basket and then put back in. He also loves going outside for walks, and playing on the swings and slide. Another one of his favorite games lately is to hand us toys, and then put his hand out for us to give it back. He also “pretends” to hand us things. I think he just likes the reaction of us smiling and saying, “Thank you!”
He continues to love the bath as well!
He has some friends who he absolutely adores (along with his big brother). One is my friend’s daughter who was born a few months before him. And the other is a friend from our former daycare provider. The picture of the three boys kills me. He just looks like one of the big kids!
Sadly, Kyler has gotten sick a few times over the past couple of months. Acclimating to a new daycare meant exposure to new germs and some of them got us good. We all suffered from a nasty stomach bug that was going around my school. I can’t even tell you how sad it is to see a baby vomit and be confused about what is happening. It was so heartbreaking! He also had a couple of colds that made him a little unhappy and stuffed up. At the moment he’s healthy (knocking on wood!), and I’m hoping it stays that way.As always, Kyler is completely in love with his big brother. Here are some of my favorite photos of the both of them from the past couple of months.
My body went through a lot this month. First… the good: I ran a marathon! Not only that, but my fastest marathon ever – a 13 minute PR! You can read all about the race here.
In addition to the marathon, I did a 10K and a 5K (that I have yet to write a recap on) with friends. Other than that, I’ve been running whenever I can fit it in. It’s been a challenge since I’m single parenting it now. I plan to write more about how I’m making time for running in the future, but it’s been tough. I’m REALLY missing my usual morning runs which just aren’t possible right now.
I also spent a large part of the last couple of months sick. First I had the horrible stomach bug that went around our family, followed by a really bad cold/sore throat. Let me tell you, being sick while having two little ones to take care of is pretty much hell on earth. Ugh! I also got my period a couple more times, which continues to be pretty painful. All of these things plus the other stresses in my life made my milk supply go way down and it still hasn’t quite recovered. I’m not sure if it will at this point. Luckily I still have a frozen milk stash, so that takes some of the pressure off. I’ve been trying very hard to take care of myself throughout all of this. It’s hard though, because things like eating well and sleeping and running are getting put way on the back burner, since I have so many other responsibilities. Since Kevin does not have a place of his own to live yet and nowhere to take the kids, I never really get a true sustained break. It’s exhausting to say the least, and I’ve felt pretty tired and rundown as a result. I’m trying hard to rest and fuel myself properly. That is my big goal for the month of May. As far as my body is concerned, things are pretty much back to normal. I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight, and I can tell my hormones are leveling off because some of the skin issues I had before are gone now. I need to get back to more consistent strength training and work on my core more too, then I know I’ll feel even stronger. Mind
When I think about myself and my emotional state of mind over the past couple of months, it’s seriously been such a roller coaster. It feels like I’ve been in a fog full of anger, sadness, hope, hopelessness, and adjusting to this new life I was forced into. It makes me sad too, to think that so many months of Kyler’s first year are such a blur and have such negativity attached to them. My emotions are so conflicted. I feel guilty for wanting a break from the kids at times, but sad when they’re not here and I am missing out on parts of their lives. I feel angry at Kevin for turning our lives upside down like this, but I also miss him and feel extremely lonely since I lost my husband and my best friend. I feel thankful for all the support I have from friends and family, but overwhelmed when I have to talk too much about it and answer too many questions. I feel hopeful about the future, but then extremely anxious thinking about all the baggage (literally and figuratively) that’s left behind inside me, and inside this house that I need to deal with. And to top it all off, I can’t run as much as I used to which really helps me manage my crazy emotions. Most of all, I just feel very beaten down and hurt and alone. I am going to start seeing a therapist to help me through some of these emotions and hopefully start to heal a bit. It’s going to be a long road ahead of me thanks to the layers upon layers of betrayal and pain I’m dealing with, but I know the boys and I will be okay in the end.
One thing that has me feeling very positive about the future is that I am planning to celebrate my upcoming 30th birthday in October in a BIG way. I am going to be running the Chicago Marathon! I could not be more excited. I’m traveling with some ladies in my Moms Run This Town group, and I’m hoping to chip away at my time and get closer to my BQ. Training starts in June, and I have no clue how I’m going to do it as a single mama, but I’ll figure it out! I see lots of double stroller runs in my future
The bottom line is that I love my boys more than anything. They make me so happy and remind me daily to be strong and to try to be a good role model for them. They are my world!
Kyler James, I cannot believe that the next update I write will be when you are ONE YEAR old! Your happy personality and contagious smile bring so much joy to me every day. I love you!
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